Hey, you ok? I’m Michael. Nice to meet you!

My wife Blessing had just had our first son and she was finding new motherhood a lot harder than anyone had warned her it would be. Tired, isolated and desperate for a friend who’d actually get it, she spotted another new mum in the bakery aisle, a woman called Lianne, baby in arms, same tired eyes. So Blessing did something braver than it sounds: she said hello. Neither of them knew it yet but they needed each other in exactly the same way. That one conversation turned into a friendship that’s lasted over a decade.

Watching what that friendship did for Blessing changed something in me too. Not long after, I found my own version of it with a friend called James. No plans, no agenda, just the two of us on a bench, having a laugh and putting the world to rights. It sounds like nothing but it’s one of the most refreshing kinds of time I spend with anyone. Guys don’t always talk about how much a friend like that means, it can feel a bit odd to say out loud but a bench and a good laugh does more for me than most catch-ups do.

That need isn’t a mum thing or a dad thing – it’s just a people thing. It’s only harder to stumble into by accident once your old circle stops quite fitting.

FriendSift is a photo-free platform that introduces you to people based on what actually matters, your values, your lifestyle, your outlook, not your best photo. No feeds to scroll, no faces to judge, no small talk. Just honest answers about who you are, introduced to someone who answered just as honestly.